At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
