omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
