That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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