he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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