yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Randomize
