Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
