ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I have already put on my inside pants.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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