so explain again why im purple
no
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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