brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
