no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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