We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
