I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Randomize
