Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
