Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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