happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
the day after is always just damage control
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
