They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
