We won't sleep together?
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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