when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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