The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
