the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
