Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
