Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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