I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
