I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
