uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Never joke about your clitoris.
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