You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
