Christians are straight up FREAKS
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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