There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
