Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
