butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
