I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Randomize
