I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
