her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
