He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Still dying that you shit outside
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
