So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
