you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
