but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My cat gives me a boner
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
organizing the empties. That sober.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
