Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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