is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
