they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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