i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
