Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
