i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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