You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
