Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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