She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
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