Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
