apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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