Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Randomize
