she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
