My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
foreskin is a definite game changer
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
